I know what people say about me and how I'm not smart and whatever, but I know a lot more than I let on.
I get that the whole Artie giving me a comb off the floor wasn't a nice thing to do, but the whole point of it was for me to just believe in myself. And that's all that mattered. He's been good to me since we started dating and he makes me happy. He's a good boyfriend, even if the whole comb thing keeps coming up over and over again. I just wish people would see that.
I don't know what to do about Santana. I have always loved her, right from the start when we first met and we did the whole pinkie holding thing. I knew that she was always going to be it for me. I never thought of myself as a lesbian, because I didn't know what that meant till Miss Holiday explained it to me. I always thought it was like a cool nickname or something. I know that Santana confessed everything to me and that she expected me to just dump Artie and go off with her, but how can I do that to Artie? He's been amazing since he became my boyfriend and he treats me well.
Yes, Santana has always been there for me, but this is not something I can just decide randomly. Loving her and loving Artie are two totally different things. Do I love her more? Yes, it's totally obvious. But I can't hurt Artie like that and I know that it's not fair to hurt her either, but I have to think about my boyfriend first. Right?
I just wish she would stop being angry with me. And saying that I'm dead to her. What will I do without Santana. Artie is only my boyfriend, Santana is my everything.
Should I be dumping Artie just so I can be with Santana, even if that's really mean of me and I have never even told Artie how I feel about Santana and what happened and all of that? Mr. Whiskers says I should dump Artie, maybe I should listen to him.